Dear Reagan

This is a letter i wrote to our sweet babe a month before my due date. My sweet Reagan, we are exactly one month from the day we will hopefully see your sweet little face. As the day quickly approaches i wanted to share a few things that I've been praying about. I pray that you will know how very special you are to me. May you never forget that you are the most important thing in our life and no matter how much I mess up as a mother  and how discouraged you become with me..I promise to always try to be my best for you.  I pray that you will always strive to grow in your relationship with Christ- that you will allow him to constantly mold and shape you into a godly woman. I pray that you will be joyful. May you always be thankful for each new day and know that every new day is a gift from our Lord. May you laugh, dance and never be afraid to be yourself! I pray that you will have a big heart that loves and shows the love of Christ to everyone( even the ones that you don't feel deserve it..remember we don't deserve the love our Jesus gives to us)  I pray that as you grow..you will strive to be a lady. May you always keep your legs crossed, your cleavage covered , your clothes breathable and your mouth clean ( otherwise, I will wash it out with soap) I pray that you will use all your gifts that God has given to you for His glory. I pray that whatever struggles you go through in your life, may you know that God will never leave your side and lean on Him for your strenghtb. May you learn from each struggle and become a stronger woman because of it. I pray that when the time comes for you to be interested in boys..that you will choose a man like your father. Reagan, , your daddy is the most amazing man. He loves me so much and it would fell my heart with joy to know that you have found a man that loves you and cherishes you just like your father loves and cherishes me. I love you sweet girl and I can't wait to finally meet you. With all my love- mommy Sent from my iPhone

Motherhood

I know this blog has been very neglected,but to be honest with you.. I'm more of a reader than I am a writer. I actually despise writing very much. My husband is the talented writer in our family. Since becoming a mother I have been experiencing so many emotions and thoughts..that I thought perhaps writing would make me feel better. So, this post is for me. It's probably going to be very lengthy and random.
          1. My husband and I made a really cute baby..well, actually God made all cute babies and he made ours extra cute. She is the apple of our eye and we love her more than anything in this world.
          2. Motherhood is the hardest thing I have EVER done..harder than labor ( that was the easy part-and I had Reagan naturally!)
         3. I was  home with "R" 9 weeks and then went back to work. I still cry every morning on my way to work.  I pray that the Lord will give me strength to get through the day..I know that without Him I wouldn't be able to get through it. People would tell me "oh, by 2 weeks into it you'll be use to" well, guess what...that was the biggest fat lie I have ever heard. It has NEVER, nor will it ever be easy to leave my baby girl. I have to take it one day at a time. I went through a period where I was so frustrated with God. I always wanted to be a mother..a stay at home mother. and Reagan was not planned..she was our sweet surprise. So, when it was time to talk about how long I would stay home with our sweet babe.. I expected God to allow me to stay home..since it was He who planned my pregnancy. I prayed and pleaded with God to please allow me to be there for my baby girl. But for now, it's God's plan for me to go back to work. A while back I had a friend at work tell me that she works because she wants to not because she needs to. She told me " I just need a break from my kids". Really?! are you serious?? I praise and thank Jesus everyday for the time he has given me with my baby girl. I would forever be grateful and thankful if I ever get the chance to stay home. Going back to work and doing my job is so much easier than what I did for nine weeks, but if I could stay home with her I would have my dream job. I don't mean to complain. I know I need to be more grateful for all the blessings the Lord has poured into my life. I'm thankful that Lord gave me this precious gift. Motherhood has truly been the most difficult, but amazing journey!